Blog Notes 2/21/07

Dear Family and Friends,
Well, this is the note you did not want to hear. The oncologist met us at about 3pm this afternoon. He sat down and his demeanor was serious. He told us that the leukemia had relapsed (came back) and that we had basically two choices. The first was to go home. After a few minutes of silence we asked about the second option. The second option is to do chemo every other day for three days, and then look for a bone marrow transplant. He said that finding a bone marrow transplant is like the odds of winning the lottery. We also would have trouble paying, and the transplant hospital would not take us unless we have insurance or medicaid. We applied for medicaid last December but we were told that it will take 4-5 months at least. With all the hassle involved we have decided to just go home and let theLord take care of the situation. When we asked about a time period the doctor said "WEEKS". So, we have a lot to do in the next several weeks to get "things" ready for my "Departure". By the way, that is what Peter calls it in the first chapter of his first letter (exodus-the way out). Furthermore, I liked the sound of "going home". For the believer in Christ, departing this life IS going home. If we have learned anything from the time we trusted Jesus as our Saviour, it should be that everything we do on this earth should point to the day we step into heaven. One of the other things that takes place while we are living our "normal" lives is that we sometimes speak glibly of death and dying. Not so for those who know that that day is approaching rapidly. I can tell you candidly that in the last several days I have faced the possibility of dying, and dying soon. I have read over and over again the verses that speak about the believer's home going. It has been a great comfort to me. One of the other aspects of this situation that Janice and I have already talked about has to do with the idea that some of us can actually plan for the day of our home going. Many people die in situations where they are taken by surprise and have no opportunity to get their lives in order, say goodbye to family and friends, plan their own funeral, etc. I will not go off tonight leaving you with the impression that I have no butterflies about this, because I do. I do not deal well with pain, andso I am concerned with that aspect of the process. I would like very much to be a good testimony to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ in the manner of my "departure". You can help by asking the Lord to give me grace for this area of the process. Janice and I will also be doing some planning relative to the future, both for the funeral, and afterward. My one real heartache in all of this is leaving her behind. We will be doing what we can to make certain that she is taken care of as best we can. We have some insurance, but certainly not the kind that would leave her in the "green". Without going into details, she'll be alright for awhile. I am trusting that many of the friends who said they will help will help, especially with the things that a guy would do around the house. Lastly, I expect to do this blog note as long as I am up to it. You will know when I "turn the corner" when Heidi gets back on the web site. That will be all for tonight. All our love to you.
In His care,
Steve and Janice